Melon Shed

Hey, how's it going?

Don't you hate this conversation:

"Hey!"
"Hey!"
"How's it going?"
"Good. How's it going with you?"
"Fine. See you later."

Except for the "Hey" part, it's all just crap, right? Neither party really wants to know the answer to the question posed, and neither answer is honest. Well, maybe once in ten times it's honest, but it's usually automatic and crap.

Haven't you always wanted, instead of the socially-acceptable "Fine," to say instead: "Shitty. It's going shitty. This is the shittiest day I've had in weeks. I guess I should be glad you're at least pretending to care, but honestly? that just makes it worse."

I don't think it's just me. I don't think it's just because this was a really crappy day. Therefore, I officially form the Coalition for Honesty in Everyday Small Talk (CHEST). The two requirements for membership are:

• a solemn pledge that if you ask about someone's well-being, you actually want to know the truth, and are prepared to offer assistance if it is warranted, and
  
• you must answer truthfully even to non-CHEST members in order to promote the cause.

Benefits of membership are manifold: advancement of honesty in interpersonal communication, admiration of your peers for being so candid and forthcoming, and maybe possibly having a potential of perhaps on an off chance finding something real out about a fellow human being. And of course, the most important benefit: being able to say "Yes, I'm a big CHEST supporter."

Who's with me?

Oh, I almost forgot one other requirement:

• never ever utter the phrase "Is it [hot, cold, wet, windy] enough for you?"

(Well, "Is it wet enough for you?" is in fact acceptable under certain specific circumstances, but that's a topic for another day...)